Vacating the Premises

Twenty years ago, before Boy#1 started kindergarten, Husband and I made a pact: As God was our witness, once the boys were out of school we'd never vacation in the summer again.

Here at MomQueenBee headquarters we are cool-weather types. (Oh, I'm sorry. Have I mentioned this eight or ten or twenty-four-gabillion times?) I'm sure vacationing in the summer is appealing if you like the heat. Or crowds. Or waiting in line. Or sweating. Or mosquitoes. Husband and I are not big fans of any of these things. Also, he doesn't swim and it creeps me out to swim in water that might have...things in it.

What I'm trying to say is that we've sort of looked forward to vacationing in the fall again, and next week, the fall vacation moment will have arrived! We're going camping!

We do not, however, camp in the same way the free clip-art that's decorating this page illustrates. No tents for me. Have you seen the movie Snakes on a Plane? Well, I haven't. Just hearing the title makes my shudder instinct kick in. The fact that there are snakes in the world means that this woman is not sleeping on the ground. And cooking over a campfire? Hahahahaha! (The archery does look like fun, though.)

No, we are wimp campers. Our pop-up trailer has air conditioning and queen-sized beds. Standard camping equipment includes a crockpot and electric skiller, and we have a special TV/DVD combination that allows us to sneer at the fancy campers with satellite dishes while still watching the movies we've checked out of the library.

For the past several years, though, our vacation time has been nibbled away by college visits and trips to move this kid or that one from here to there and back again. This week Husband hooked the camper up and pulled it from its storage space for the first time in three years.

We've made sure it wasn't infested with varmints (see: Snakes!) and have assured each other that it doesn't matter that the water hose rotted out during the three years of inactivity--we can live many, many days without water but only a few hours without food. Or do I have that backward?

I don't care--we're going camping!