A Most Unexpected Honor

Husband was grinning as he interrupted my reading last night.

"You are going to be so proud of me. Guess what I've been nominated for?" And he pulled out the e-mailed form he had received from the Latino American Who's Who.

For those of you who don't know Husband, you can stop reading now because this probably won't be all that funny. For those of you who do know the love of my life, join with me now:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Or, as my Latino American Who's Who nominee would say, "Jajajajajajaja!")

Husband is smart and kind and hard-working and compassionate. He is the most generous person on earth and makes his bed every day.

He's also the whitest person I've ever met, and quite obviously, the spammers who sent out this nomination form do not know him or even they would be jajaja-ing.

This doesn't in any way mean there is a bigoted cell in Husband's body, because there isn't. But while he can appreciate and support other ethnicities, well, white men not only can't jump, this one can't salsa either. I mean, he orders Hawaiian pizza. On purpose.

This morning I heard him outside talking to Our Dog Pepper.

"Pepper! Good morning! Did you know I'm going to be listed in the Latino American Who's Who? Isn't that something? What a great country we live in."

Then he called to me--"Hey, how do you say 'Pepper' in Spanish'?"

"Pimiento!" I yelled back.

Him: "Purgenta?"

Me: "PIMIENTO!"

Him: "Puhfiddle?"

Me: "PEE! MEE! EN! TOE!"

Him (muttering): "(pee-mee-en-toe! pee-mee-en-toe!) Hey, Pamahto, how does it feel to have your breakfast brought out by a Latino American Who's Who honoree?"

O, papacito! Te amo!