Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Drumroll, Please!

Oh, gosh! This is it! My first REAL giveaway, of something that actually has dimensionality. (I mean, I send you my love and best wishes every day, and while that may be tax-free, I'm the first to recognize that love and best wishes are not as exciting as the Grand Poo-Bah of DeStuffifying Prizes.)

But in order to add to the suspense, and since I don't take commercial breaks nearly as often as they do at the Academy Award presentations, I'll explain my methodology.

First I wrote down the names of everyone who joined in de-stuffying during 2014. I prove that with a picture of the in-progress name-writing-down:

Then I folded the names and put them into a fancy-schmancy piece of heirloom Fostoria (see top photo). At that point I called in a guest random name drawer, and it was this woman!

Sylvia! My friend from the Peace Corps whom I had not seen in THIRTY-FIVE YEARS until she spent the night in the House on the Corner last night. She still looks as if she could jump on her motorcycle and ride off to visit a school in the campo.

Being completely unbiased, Sylvia reached into the fancy-schmancy piece of heirloom Fostoria and pulled out the name of...


Great choice, since leafyNell says "We moved out of our first house this year. We'd lived there 12 years and over those years we'd gained: my mom and her stuff, a first baby boy and all the little baby stuff that is somehow huge, and a second baby boy who added more stuff. Combined with the fact that both my mom and I are pack-rats, moving was a great de-stuffifier. Our goal was to start out in the new house with nothing to squirrel-away in the attic. Goal achieved!"

Good job, leafyNell!

Also, since I do not know leafyNell in real life, unlike most of the other entrants, no one can yell that I was prejudiced and picked her because I love her to pieces. I mean, I might love her to pieces but I haven't really met her yet. If it makes you feel any better, I have entered countless blog giveaways in the past and my success rate in being a randomly-chosen winner still stands at zero percent.

You're all winners in my book, and I send you my love and best wishes. I just won't send you the Grand Poo-Bah of Prizes. leafyNell, I'm sending that to YOU!

One final detail that is probably important: I put the wrong email address in my last post about the giveaway. Sheesh. If you entered this drawing and would like a consolation prize knitted dishcloth or are leafyNell and would like your Grand Poo-Bah Prize, email me at momqueenbee4@gmail.com. 

Monday, January 19, 2015

Color Me Blue

My eyes roll to the back of my head when I read Facebook posts about internal family squabbles so I'm not proud of my own Facebook post from Saturday morning.

Husband and I are discussing paint colors. Shoot me now.

I know! Airing dirty laundry, TMI, personal business should stay personal--normally I agree. Does it help to explain that the biggest fight Husband and I have had in 31 years of married mostly-bliss was over the color of the living room?

We are compatible in so, so many ways but when it comes to paints, we are products of our upbringing. He is a preacher's kid who grew up in parsonages where walls came in two colors--white and eggshell. I'm the daughter of an mother who gathered leaves from oak trees in the back yard to stencil them onto the corner of the living room, which she had just painted terracotta red. He's the son of parents who collaborated and discussed every decision, from menu to sermon topic. I'm the daughter of a man who could look around and say "Have you done something different in here?"--a year after something different was done.

My idea of decorating is "Hey, honey! Look at this great color I've picked for the living room! It's celadon, and it's gorgeous!" and he thinks celadon is both too dark and too bright and a decision that should not have been made in a vacuum. We're both right, is what I'm saying, but aaaaaaarghhhhh.

So even though we're both right, my blood pressure started to rise when I even thought about picking out colors for Boy#2's formerly bear-papered room. It's being transformed into Husband's home office so he will be the one spending the most time here, even though it also will have a futon for Boys on holiday visits.

Saturday morning I pulled out the chips I'd pinned to my Pinterest page and started doing my best optometrist impression.

"Do you like this one or this one better? A or B? Do you really like B better or is it just that it's exactly the combination we have in the sun room? Okay, B or C? C or D? B or D?"

Of the nine swatches I had chosen, he was able to rule out five. And he added one, which was yellow and on which I used my peremptory challenge because I'm planning to re-do the kitchen in that shade.

Then we headed to Lowe's, picked out an area rug we liked, and realized that one of the finalists was perfect with that rug. Done.

We survived to paint another day, but in my heart of hearts I agreed with the friend who replied to the Saturday morning post.

"If Husband is part of that discussion," Rebecca wrote, "you're going about it all wrong." 

Is it too late to put the bears and tractors back?

Friday, January 16, 2015

Friday Orts and a Blurb

This Friday's edition of orts and blurbs begins with the final picture I will download from my camera inflict on you  present for your delight from the 2014-15 end-of-year holidays.

Boy#3 would have been the New Year's Baby in Small Town if he had been born in Small Town instead of in Fairly Large City an hour away. But because fairly large cities are filled with people (go figure) someone else delivered on the first day of the year and Three was born the next day. There is no consolation prize for being the second baby of the New Year.

Nevertheless, at the time I thought being born in the first week of a new decade was pretty cool, especially since he was so considerate and chose to arrive two weeks early for the comfort of his mother. What I didn't know was that having a January 2 birthday pretty much dooms you to the worst birthday parties ever, year after year after year.

By January 2, everyone is sick of celebrating. We've been through the Best Day of the Year, and the pre-Christmas office parties, and Christmas itself, and the post-Christmas family get-togethers, and New Year's Eve, and the holiday bowl games. By January 2, we are one day overdue for getting on with the diets and new resolutions. This has led to a lot of birthday-rolled-into-Christmas celebrations. The worst year was the year my mother's funeral was held on (you guessed it) Three's birthday.

This year, though, the stars aligned for Three to be home on his birthday. He requested biscuits and gravy as his special meal (Yay! Do-able!) and a carrot cake baked in layers (Yay! Also do-able!).

Happy birthday, Boy#3. I love you more than any other 25-year-old on the planet.

If anyone has added Last Tango in Halifax to a Netflix queue based on my two stubby thumbs upped in last week's blurb, I need to add a disclaimer based on additional binge watching.

I've now finished both seasons of the series that are available to stream, and while I still love the show, be aware that several times I found myself thinking "Well, huh. That certainly turned dark quickly." Also, I wanted to reach through the screen and let certain characters know that much as I loved them, they were making TERRIBLE decisions.

So if you are watching LTiH and wondering what I was thinking when I recommended it so highly, I was thinking that I cannot resist a Scottish accent and that I want to talk just like Celia.

The blurb this week comes from a YouTube discovery that makes me wonder why I've wasted so much time saying the word "yes."
Over the course of my life I've spent HOURS saying the word that I could have put to better use knitting. Or sleeping. Or wondering why George Clooney's wife wore my mother's prom gloves to the Golden Globes awards.

I wonder if you can do this with a Scottish accent.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

I'm the Worst Oprah!

Much Older Sister posted a link to a New Yorker essay this week, and I've been giggling about it ever since. With the usual disclaimers about my non-approval of salty language, I will say that I wish I had invented the phrase "I'm the rollout of healthcare.gov."

Because I am. I'm the worst.

On Monday, which is now three days ago, I promised that if you came back on Tuesday, which is now two days ago, I would have something SPECIAL for you. EXTRA SPECIAL, in fact. And then I disappeared into work in the day and meetings at night and life in general and didn't return.

But today, I'm finally back and I have (drumroll, please) a GIVEAWAY!

I know! Just like Oprah!

At the beginning of 2014 when I began the year of destuffifying, I promised that anyone who joined me in this well-intentioned effort would get something out of it in the end, even if she/he didn't meet the actual goal he/she set. Today is the pay-off for those good intentions.

If you destuffified in 2014, as I did, you get prize. And that's even if you did not meet your set goal, as I did not. Did you get something out of your living space that makes you feel a little freer and a little proud of yourself that one tiny spot of your life is de-stuffed? You get a prize.

And for one person who de-stuffified, your prize will be the Grand PooBah of DeStuffifying Prizes. You will pick something out of my already-knitted projects (see above), or choose something for me to knit, and I will send that something to you. It could be something large, such as this shawl being modeled by my office chair:
"In soft ombre shades of peach and green, this shawl is shot with subtle glitters of gold, the perfect accompaniment to a simple black dress on a cool fall evening." (My description. Please read it in a sultry voice.)

Or it could be something smaller, such as a hat (seen above), a pair of socks (also seen above), or some warm reading mitts (seen above). I will also negotiate requests for the custom-made Grand PooBah prize, so you could choose something extra-special:
A five-hour baby sweater! Or a baby hat, or something else baby-appropriate.

Or reading mitts in a custom color! Or owl mittens! 

Or a dog! (Skeptical Boy#1 not included.)

Just comment on this post, or on my Facebook page, that you destuffified in 2014, and let me know how it went. That enters you for the drawing to receive the Grand PooBah of DeStuffifying Prize. I will write all your names on Post-It notes and stick them to the wall and the first one that falls down wins. Or maybe I'll ask Husband to draw the name out of a hat, or something. It will be a random Grand PooBah selection, is what I'm saying, so your success or non-success in destuffifying is not critical to this prize distribution. 

And even if you are not the Grand PooBah Prize winner, I'll send you a consolation prize because you are well-intentioned, just as I am.

It's just like Oprah! You get a prize! And you get a prize! And you get a prize! Okay, it's a knitted dishcloth. There. A dishcloth you probably don't even need, and you'll have to send me your home address at momqueenbee@gmail.com to claim. But still! A prize!

Yeah, the worst Oprah ever. I really am the rollout of healthcare.gov.

Monday, January 12, 2015

2015 Word of the Year: Finish

I love this wallpaper more than is seemly. 
The new year already is on the verge of un-newness as I write this, but there are still a few loose ends to be tied we fully commit to 2015. In fact, those loose ends have to do with the same topic so we're going to use a Magic Knot and pull it good and tight.

(Incidentally, if you are a knitter and have not yet discovered the Magic Knot, stop right now and go watch that video. It's a much better use of less than two minutes of your time than reading the rest of this would be. For those of us who hate and despise weaving in yarn ends? Life. Changing.)

Anyway, today's topic is Word of the Year. How many of my dear reader(s) remember the word for 2014? That's right! It was De-stuffify! I observed that the House on the Corner, for all its enormous size, was stuffed to the gills with tchotchkes and thingamajigs, as well as sentimental favorites and excess of all kind. Having recently been through the final dispersal of my mother-in-law's earthly belongings, I was determined that in 40 years or so the Boys would not have to paw through boxes and boxes of memorabilia that meant absolutely nothing to them. My pledge was to get rid of 100 boxes/bags of stuff.

Well. That turned out to be somewhat impressively overambitious. The first month, when I ruthlessly disposed of some 25 boxes/bags of beloved items junk, I was convinced I would have no problem lightening the House's foundational load by at least 200. But those 25 boxes/bags turned out to be low-hanging (and large) fruit and I never repeated this enormous total in any month. The final disposal turned out to be in the neighborhood of 50 or 60 boxes/bags. (I forgot to mark some of the outgoing items on the calendar so I can't be certain.)

Am I distraught that I did not meet my goal? Heck, no! I am delighted that so many spots in the house are now accessible rather than being packed with junk. The cabinet over the refrigerator can be opened without having travel cups rain down on my head! The cleaning supplies are all in the cleaning closet rather than in three different locations! The drawers of my dressers actually open and close! The sewing room...well, the sewing room has been de-stuffed three times this year and could still use some work.

De-stuffifying, it appears, is an ongoing process that will be completed by the Boys in 40 years after all. But I started it, and am committed to continue the task.

In fact, that leads Magic Knot-tingly into my word of the year for 2015: Finish. As I was de-stuffying I came to the realization that I am a heck of a self-starter. What I need to work on is self-finishing. I found the sweater I started knitting in the car as I drove with Boy#2 to his new university. All of the pieces have been completed for 3 1/2 years, and it has only needed to be seamed. But have I done that? I have not. Or there's the back entryway that I prepared for painting last October, still unpainted.

Today's photo represents my Finish pledge. Over Christmas break I stripped wallpaper off of Two's room, wallpaper that I put up in the weeks before he was born. And before you comment on the fact that a 26-year-old grown man still had teddy bears driving tractors around the border of his walls, please note that he was almost as sad to see that paper go as I was. (Wouldn't you have been sad? Is that not the cutest wallpaper you've ever seen in your life?) But as we convert this room to Husband's home office, it's probably a good moment to make the bears and barns go away. And then I WILL FINISH the redecoration of the room.

I will finish the sweater, I will finish the back entryway, I will finish what I start.

How did your de-stuffifying go this year? Tune in tomorrow for a special offer to anyone who joined me in the paring down.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Friday Orts and a Blurb (Post-Holiday Edition)

Today's Friday wrap-up begins with a shot of my feet, taken at 9:07 a.m. today.

At the office.

Yup--two different shoes. I guess in a way this is a win, since it's been at least a decade since I actually left the house wearing a brown right foot and a black left foot (I'm not counting the time I packed two different black sandals for a weekend away).

Meantime, I'm keeping my feet under the desk for the rest of the morning, until I can dash home to change out the brown side and from now on I'll turn on the light in the closet when I get dressed.


I finally figured out this year why Traditions are important to me: Because I hate making decisions. This year's topsy-turvy Christmas schedule meant we decided to go to a movie then eat out Dec. 25. That's easy enough, right?

Hahahaha! First there is the movie choice to make. One Boy hates hobbits. One Boy loves hobbits. One Boy sees all the movies. One Boy sees only one movie a year and doesn't want to waste this chance. One Boy has no interest whatsoever in movie musicals, and will not participate if we choose Into the Woods. One person (me) loves movie musicals.


Then we had to decide where to eat, but that decision was made easier by the fact that (surprise!) almost all restaurants close on Christmas Day. It was a little disappointing that waiters in the Chinese restaurant we finally found open post-movie did not sing to us, but the eggrolls were good.

Photo from IMDB
And this week's blurb:

When I was a child, I read through every one of the Nancy Drew mysteries the Port Library owned. I checked them out compulsively, and bitterly resented each minute that life kept me from submerging myself in the adventures of Nancy, George, Bess, Ned--I propped the books up to read while I brushed my teeth.

That's how I'm feeling right now about The Last Tango in Halifax, a BBC series that I had in my Netflix queue for quite a while before I decided concentrating so many hours on Midsomer Mysteries was not healthy and that I should branch out. I wasn't that enthused about watching two elderly people renew young love and marry in spite of their families' incredulity (a little close to the bone, that is) but a friend recommended it and oh, my gosh. People, this series is wonderful.

The leading characters are utterly charming, and he is a dead ringer for Eddy Albert  who has always been a favorite of mine (or perhaps I should say a live ringer, seeings as how Eddy Albert is, well, dead). The family dynamics are fascinating, and the scenery--drool, the scenery.

Even allowing for a disclaimer about how I don't approve of the choices being made by many of the characters, blah-blah, etc., I love Last Tango and I'm already ruing the day I will have no more episodes waiting on the internet.

Aah, Nancy Drew. I still miss you.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

It Arrived House-Trained

I'm assuming all of you have seen the video that leads off today's post. I first encountered it years and years ago--it must have been shortly after it hit the internet eight years ago, way before it had three and a half million hits. It is charming and amusing, and I thought of it often during the Christmas season: I was a knitting fool on the run-up to the gift-giving season.

While I didn't go so far as to knit my own hair into a scarf, I did manage to overcommit to a rather impressive number of projects that were due under the tree.

  • Six pairs of handwarming fingerless mitts (with microwavable rice bag inserts) for the staff who work in my chilly office.
  • A warm hat for the student who is paired with me in a campus mentorship program and always looks frozen when we meet for lunch.
  • Cotton dishcloths for a dear relative.
  • Socks for my women's group white elephant exchange. (Paired with temporary tattoos, because we're wild and crazy in this group.)
  • Christmas stockings for Lovely Girl (to be kept in the House on the Corner) and the grand-dog of my hairdresser. 
  • A dog. 

You did not mis-read that final item. Boy#1 and Lovely Girl have been making noises about getting a dog and when the Royals were making October's baseball play-offs especially thrilling for us fans in the Kansas City area, One may have accidentally told his bride that if the hometown team won he'd get her a puppy. In my comeback-induced hysteria, I may have accidentally butt-texted "Heck, if the Royals win, I will get her a puppy."

Well. The Royals won.

Knowing that One and Girl are living in an apartment and doing a fair amount of work-related travel, I knew I probably shouldn't show up at their doorstep with a Shih Tsu in a basket. Plus, getting someone else a puppy is like getting someone else underwear--you'd better know them really, really, really well.

But I fretted about breaking my promise until I saw this during our dream vacation:

The universe smiled, and after fifty-seven excruciatingly small pieces were knit and sewn together, I was able snap this picture of One when presents were opened.

It's the kind of gift they'll talk about decades from now. "Remember the year Mom knit a dachsund for us? That was kind of...weird, wasn't it?"

So I will remind them in advance that they should be thanking me that it wasn't actually a Shih Tsu in a basket. At least it doesn't poop in their shoes.