Friday, September 2, 2011

Ask the Grammar...Person

Question: MomQueenBee, I hear you think you're pretty hot stuff when it comes to the Grammar-ing of America.

Answer: Why, yes, and if this blog had video you'd see me blushing prettily as I admit that.

Q: Then why is this blog not named something like Grammar Curmudgeon, or Grammar Goddess, or even Grammar Grouch?

A: Because those names are already taken by people who know a lot more about grammar than I do. Also, because this frees me up to make mistakes, then say "What? You expected the Grammar Goddess?"

Q: So if you were a grammar goddess, what would be on your mind today?

A: Thank you for asking! I'm thinking about apostrophes. Or, as many of the young writers in this country would say, apostrophe's.

Q: Which of those is correct?

A: 

Q: MomQueenBee, you are going to damage that desk if you keep banging your head on it like that. Do you have any easy rules for using the apostrophe?

A: Yes. The first and most important thing to remember is that the apostrophe is not used to create a plural. Not now, not ever. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. If you have more than one of something, add an s. Or an es. Or make a different word altogether. Hamburgers. Coaches. Children. BUT NEVER ADD AN APOSTROPHE. Those signs you've seen outside of people's houses that say The Smith's? THEY ARE WRONG.

Q: You know, MomQueenBee, it's not all that attractive when spit flies out of the corners of your mouth like that. I think we need to continue this lesson some other day.

A: I need a cup of coffee. Please make it decaf. 

1 comment:

  1. My personal favorite is the Christmas cards. Happy Holidays!
    Love,
    The Holt's
    Is there no code of ethics for folks (snapfish, shutterfly, etc.) that print these things??!!

    Chris taught legal writing for a few years at one of the local law schools. Your head would've been SPINNING! There are, apparently, zero grammar questions on the LSAT.

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