Friday, September 2, 2011

Ask the Grammar...Person

Question: MomQueenBee, I hear you think you're pretty hot stuff when it comes to the Grammar-ing of America.

Answer: Why, yes, and if this blog had video you'd see me blushing prettily as I admit that.

Q: Then why is this blog not named something like Grammar Curmudgeon, or Grammar Goddess, or even Grammar Grouch?

A: Because those names are already taken by people who know a lot more about grammar than I do. Also, because this frees me up to make mistakes, then say "What? You expected the Grammar Goddess?"

Q: So if you were a grammar goddess, what would be on your mind today?

A: Thank you for asking! I'm thinking about apostrophes. Or, as many of the young writers in this country would say, apostrophe's.

Q: Which of those is correct?


Q: MomQueenBee, you are going to damage that desk if you keep banging your head on it like that. Do you have any easy rules for using the apostrophe?

A: Yes. The first and most important thing to remember is that the apostrophe is not used to create a plural. Not now, not ever. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. If you have more than one of something, add an s. Or an es. Or make a different word altogether. Hamburgers. Coaches. Children. BUT NEVER ADD AN APOSTROPHE. Those signs you've seen outside of people's houses that say The Smith's? THEY ARE WRONG.

Q: You know, MomQueenBee, it's not all that attractive when spit flies out of the corners of your mouth like that. I think we need to continue this lesson some other day.

A: I need a cup of coffee. Please make it decaf. 

1 comment:

  1. My personal favorite is the Christmas cards. Happy Holidays!
    The Holt's
    Is there no code of ethics for folks (snapfish, shutterfly, etc.) that print these things??!!

    Chris taught legal writing for a few years at one of the local law schools. Your head would've been SPINNING! There are, apparently, zero grammar questions on the LSAT.