Friday, August 3, 2012

Last One. I Promise.

 I promise--I will stop talking about my "camping" trip soon. In fact, I almost wrote something else today because this weekend will be filled with excitement for the extended MomQueenBee family, and I can't think of much of anything besides the Big Event. Also, I almost wrote about my toenails.*

But I believe this is the final installment of my Why I Love to Camp series.

All of you who looked down your noses at my ridiculous array of electronic equipment (fan, DVD player, table lamp, Crockpot)--well, look no more. This is why you need to bring that final plugging-in friend on your "camping" trip.

Overnight Oatmeal.

Oh, my, goodness. I adapted the recipe from this site, but come to think of it, I didn't use any brown sugar. Or flax seed. Or milk. And I doubled the water and added Craisins and sliced almonds. So maybe this was a recipe I made up myself?

At any rate, throw all of the ingredients into the Crockpot just before you slide into your sleeping bag, and all night you'll wake up thinking, "Gosh, do bears like apple pie? Because if they do, I'm in trouble."

No, I'm just kidding. Actually you'll think "Wow! That smells amazing. Take that, neighbors who cooked bacon yesterday morning and didn't share."

When it's finally time for breakfast, plop some of this wonderful concoction into your plastic bowl and pour on a few tablespoons of the final secret ingredient:

Yes. Half & Half. Remember? You're going to be walking six miles straight up Mt. Everest to go to the bathroom, so you can eat pretty much whatever you want. And while you're at it, splash a healthy dose of the Half & Half into the coffee in your Joe the Eagle Olympic cup that has been on every "camping" trip you've ever taken.

I guarantee, this will make the whole trip worthwhile, even if especially if Husband takes one bite of the oatmeal and decides he'd rather have bran flakes. Not a problem--more for you!  Here's the recipe:

Overnight Slow Cooker Steel-Cut Oats

  • 2 apples, cored and cut into little chunks (or 3 apples--this isn't rocket science)
  • 3 cups water
  • 1 cup uncooked steel-cut oats. NOT quick-cooking or old-fashioned oatmeal. You will regret  substitution.
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons butter. Or a plop of light soft margarine, which is what we had in the cooler. Or leave this out entirely.
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • Half a bag of Craisins
  • Some slivered almonds, which you will be substituting for the chopped walnuts you really wanted to use but the almonds were aging off the shelf and really, really cheap and turned out to be delicious.
Spray the inside of your Crockpot with cooking spray, or better yet, use one of those slow cooker liner thingies, which is what I did and was SO glad I did when it came time for clean-up.  Then mix all of the ingredients together, go to bed, and be glad to wake up in the morning.

*Bonus Post-let: My Toenails

Any male types in my reading audience, you may stop reading now because I need the advice of my fashion council.

Yesterday I got my first pedicure ever in Small Town. I know! I need to turn in my girl credentials. But I've never been able to justify spending $25 on my toes when all of the kids needed shoes and I was perfectly capable of painting my nails. I've just ignored the old-lady heels that are now exposed since you, my fashion council, have decreed that I may not wear pantyhose.

Tomorrow is a Big Event, though, so I decided to treat myself.

Oh. My. Gosh. Now I see why all my girly friends make this a regular part of the budget. The pampering! The relaxation! The massaging!

Except that I chose the wrong color of polish. Normally my toenails are a peachy/pinky/coral shade of OPI that goes well with all of my clothes and doesn't bring attention to my feet. I thought this was the color I was choosing off the Great Big Wall of Polish Colors, but I was wrong. I ended up with something quite light, and I don't really like it. At all.

So fashion council, what should I do? Do I re-paint my nails in my usual shade and waste the professional efforts of the lovely pedicurist or do I go to the Big Event with my toes looking like Little Orphan Annie's eyes?

What say you?

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