Is the AC On?

I'm a sweater.

No, not this kind of sweater, although, how cute is that? Woochy-woochy-reindeer! (I'M KIDDING, FASHION COUNCIL.I would never wear a sweater with reindeer on it.)

I'm this kind of sweater:

I'M KIDDING, FASHION COUNCIL. I would never wear white loafers. That part about dabbing my brow with a bandana, though? That's all me.

The problem, as far as I can tell, has come about in the past few years. Up until that point my internal thermometer kept me in a fairly decent equilibrium with the world around me. Kind of like this:

Given that I live in Kansas, there were a few times when it was just too dadgummed hot, and a few more times when it was too dadgummed cold, but the majority of the time I was reasonably comfortable. I was Just Right! Even during the times when I was tending toward Too Hot, or tending toward Too Cold, I was just that--tending. My body would say, "You know, I think it's getting warm. I believe after I finish what I'm doing I'll take off my sweater and be Just Right again."

A few years ago, though, things changed for the uncomfortable. Suddenly my life was this:

Holy smoke.

My life went from being mostly Just Right to almost consistently Too Hot, with a dash of Too Cold (mostly between 2 and 3 a.m. on January 18) thrown in. The Just Right bar of my internal temperature disappeared entirely. And the transition into Too Hot! was a bungee jump into a firepit, not a gradual walk along the beach.

Husband has been completely supportive of this new phase of my life. Instead of throwing open the windows during summer nights so we can baste in the 90 percent humidity, our nighttime air conditioner chugs along at a steady 75 degrees. (We're still a sort-of-Earth-Friendly 78 during the daytime.) He turns on the ceiling fans when we watch television, and closes the driver's side vents so we can keep the car on the MAX AC setting.

Fortunately I know what's causing this recent discomfort, and it won't last forever.

It's global warming. We're doomed.