Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The Neighborhood Kids Are Trying to Kill Me

One of the nicest things about the Empty Nest is that there are no longer open mouths peering out of the nest every time I fly back in. Oh, I love cooking for my Boys and they are always totally appreciative of my efforts (except when the efforts include legumes) but feeding a family is like this all the time.

So when the Boys flew away--to flog an analogy completely into the ground--I took the opportunity to give our eating habits an upgrade. More vegetables. Less red meat. Fruit, fruit, fruit. "We will be healthy!" I told Husband jubilantly.

This was working pretty well until fund-raising season kicked in.

It is well-documented that I HATED fund-raisers when the Boys were in that mode. We were the Grinch parents who thought sending wide-eyed moppets door-to-door with their hands out was a bad idea. We usually ended up sending a donation check to the cause (First Grade Field Trip! Hamster Cage for the Fifth Grade!) and our poor moppets sat sad-faced while their classmates collected the Really Cool Incentive Prizes! others had earned. (Or more likely, their parents had earned by coercing co-workers and customers to buy.) Ooooh, how I hated fund-raisers.

Ahem. I think I'm off track here.

Anyway, during those days I also vowed that once my own children were no longer busy at work depleting our financial resources (curse you, fast-growing feet) I would never turn away a child who came to my door and gave even a tiny semblance of a sales pitch.

This week has been both Girl Scout cookie and candy-bars-for-third-grade-field-trip week. So far I have been able to resist opening any of these items, but if many more temptations come along the healthy new diet may disappear.

These kids are trying to kill me.


  1. We ate all the GS cookies we ordered and then were forced to buy more from the girls at the table outside the grocery store who were so very friendly and earnest.

  2. Oh, those sweet assassins. Did you get the Thin Mints, StephLove?