Monday, February 28, 2011

Nope, This Could Not Get Any More Self-Centered

(Boys, this is one you probably will want to skip.)

So I've mentioned before my continuing fascination with what the aging process is doing to my eyebrows. For the most part of my life, they were right there, one above each eye, and I didn't worry much about them.

Oh, I hoped they would not do what Andy Rooney's eyebrows had done to him (see illustration above). Andy Rooney's eyebrows have come to dominate his face so thoroughly that they render him mute. Or at least I assume he's mute; if I see him talking on television all I can think is "Oh, my, gosh, why doesn't he trim those eyebrows?" and I don't hear a word he's saying.

Larry Hagman has the same problem. I couldn't find a picture that adequately captures the horror that are the Hagman brows, but people, there is a FACEBOOK PAGE dedicated to Larry Hagman's eyebrows. Check it out yourself; they are just that bad.

As I moved into, and through, middle age, I realized my face apparently had been absorbing my horror of of the over-browed, and it was taking action. My eyebrows were committing suicide. They began disappearing from the outer edge toward the inner edge, leaving me looking like a Japanese cartoon:
Fortunately, Wikipedia, that source of all things truthful and absolute, explains that eyebrows "prevent debris such as dandruff and other small objects from falling into the eyes, as well as providing a more sensitive sense for detecting objects being near the eye, like small insects." Since I don't anticipate either dandruff or small insects will be falling into my eyes any time soon, I'll stop stressing about my disappearing eyebrows and go back to worrying about which of Anne Hathaway's dresses I liked best on the Oscars.

But if I see a MomQueenBee's (Lack of) Eyebrows page on Facebook, you can bet I'll start to worry again.

(Side note: Does anyone know what a single eyebrow hair is called? Wikipedia says it's a browy. However, this is not confirmed anywhere else on the Internet and I am not likely to do any research that requires more than two clicks.)

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