|He skedaddled over here from over there|
I will save the Downton Abbey update until last so that if you are not caught up with the last two episodes, you will have time to close your eyes, because SPOILER ALERT!
But first, the Friends.
Oh, my gosh, people, it was so much fun. This was the best audience ever, and because I had packed it solid with some of my favorite people, they laughed at the right places and aaaah-ed at the right places, and just generally treated me with love. They speculated that, since I was the third choice to speak, first choice would have been almost too much to bear.
However, I was not the best speaker of the night. That honor belongs to our children's librarian, Miss Jo, who in addition to being the daughter of one of the Boys' very favorite teachers, is exactly what you would choose if you could order the perfect children's librarian. She's funny and warm and unflappable and has the most wonderful laugh. And as part of her report to the Friends she uttered the following sentence, which was better than any single sentence I have uttered, ever:
"I booked a ventriloquist today."
Mic drop, done.
Okay, you have been warned about the DA spoiler, so from now on I take no responsibility for revealing a televised moment that was...I don't even know.
Lord Grantham, who has been wincing about his innards ever since the utterly boring hospital plotline began, NEEDED A HOSPITAL! IMMEDIATELY!
Who could have known? Oh, yes, I DID!
What I didn't know was the sheer volume of blood that would make that hospital necessary, and the spewing thereof that would utterly ruin Cora's dress. I know that final fact because I read the enlightening and hilarious story in Vanity Fair that contains the following paragraph:
Because it was a very complicated sequence to film, and because it relied on Bonneville’s human-blood-spewing power—“He just has a capacity, Hugh, and can hold a huge amount of liquid in his mouth”—rather than a special-effects pump, there were variables. And although the costume department had prepared table-setting changes and costume changes for Robert, Isobel, and Mary (the last two of whom were sitting on either side of Robert), they soon realized they had not adequately prepared for Bonneville’s herculean hemoglobin ejection capacity.Really, go read that article. It is almost as comical as the looks on everyone's faces when the bloodbath began. They obviously didn't realize it was going to be a literal bath of blood, but it was.
And I called it!