Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Downton Endings (Nothing But Spoilers)

Much Younger Sister, Much Older Sister, and Me
My BFF sent me an email yesterday.

"Well, I thought that Julian Fellowes was going to wrap up every character's issues in a neat, tidy package and leave all of us happy at the end. But after last night, I'm not so sure. What do you think?"

She was, of course, referring to Downton Abbey and our mutual fascination with the Crawleys, whose name I keep insisting on spelling Crowley because that's the way they pronounce it.

I was in the throes of a sore throat and self-pity so I didn't respond yesterday but I spent the day wondering how in the world all these loose ends were going to be tied up in the next two weeks. I think I have them figured out, so I'm sharing my predictions. (Needless to say, this is pure spoilery.)

(If you don't want spoilers, STOP READING HERE.)

The easy predictions first:

Robert and Cora will continue to live obliviously and happily and beautifully dressed, playing with the puppies and the grandchildren and occasionally wondering what happened to that Gutenberg Bible.

Edith and her beau will get married and live happily ever after. Duh.

Molesly and the jewel thief's moll also will get married and live happily ever after. She will occasionally come in to his classroom to teach the civics lesson, because of her extensive experience with both sides of the law.

Mr. Mason and Mrs. Patmore, of course, because too cute.

Mrs. Hughes-Carson is going to smack Mr. Carson-Hughes over the head with the heaviest cast iron skillet she can find , and that will teach him all he needs to know about criticizing the cooking of a wife who has been on her feet serving other people all day. An all-female jury will acquit her.

Then more speculative:

Andy and Daisy will get together, I'm pretty sure, and will take over the farm while Mr. and Mrs. Mason-Patmore move to the B&B. (I haven't yet figured out the stalker--TripAdvisor rater, I'm assuming.)

Sadly, I think Thomas is not long for this world. If he lives happily ever after it will be the most red-herring-ed ending ever, and I don't think two episodes, even with a Very Special Final Episode included, are enough to pull that off. We must remember what a jerk he was when we cry about the waste that was Thomas.

Isobel and the doctor, I think. The other guy (whose name I can't remember) was fine but his children were THE WORST, pure evil from their navels to their backbones, and I can't imagine Julian would millstone her with them for the rest of her life. The doctor, on the other hand, has been a true blue pal and at their ages, that's a pretty good recommendation. Or at any age, actually.

And the straight-out wild guesses:

I'm pretty sure the sexy editrix was introduced into the mix to throw us off. She is NOT going to marry Branson, because she, sadly, is going to perish in her office when the cigarette she keeps waving around all that cheap copy paper catches the place on fire.

No, Branson is going to end up with (out on a limb here) Mary. I know! Not gorgeous Henry Talbot, but hear me out. Mary is the most practical and clear-eyed of all the Crawleys. She sees the big changes coming (partly because Julian Fellowes has been BEATING US ON THE HEAD WITH THEM) and realizes the only hope of keeping Downton alive is by partnering with someone as practical and clear-eyed as she is. And Branson, while he is her brother-in-law, is really quite a catch and already knows everyone so he can avoid that awkward "Are you the first butler or the second butler?" moment. They make a good team, and given her willingness to sacrifice for the cause, I have placed my five-bob note on this ending.

And Henry Talbot? Will marry Violet.

Boom. Done.

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