Tuesday, January 26, 2016

I've Figured It Out!

How I plan to spend my retirement. Image Credit

You guys! Pay attention! I've figured it out!

You all are Downton Abbey fans, right? Because of course you are. On Sunday nights you're plopped in front of PBS to see what is going to happen with the so-rich-they're-miserable-but-occasionally-happy Crawley family and their cadre of so-poor-they're-happy-but-occasionally-miserable staff.

You have wanted to shake the exasperating Lady Mary, who is the master of the eyeroll, whether she is irritated,
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or being coy.
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You also have wanted to shake sad-sack Lady Edith although she has moments of perception that are spot on.
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And now that it is the final season of this series and it needs to bestir itself to start tying up loose ends, you have to admit that you DO NOT GET IT. Why in the world is so much time being spent on the most boring plot line in the history of plots, which is to say, the take-over of the village hospital by the government, or something like that.

This plot line is the worst. The. Worst. It's even worse than Anna being accused of murder, or Bates actually being imprisoned because of murder, or SHUT UP, DAISY!

Sunday night, though, I figured it out, and actually did a ladylike fist pump and yelled "Tallyho!" That's because I saw this guy wince, not once but twice...
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...and a light bulb went on in my self-indulgent little aristocratic brain. (I felt just like Edith did when she found realized that she should fire that editor, which is to say, "Huh. Why didn't I realize this earlier?)

See, the hospital plot line is going to intersect with those two winces. Mark my words now, because either the hospital will be really good and save Lord Grantham's life when it turns out he has a debunkerizing carpatangle  (or whatever) that must be removed IMMEDIATELY, or the hospital will be really bad and Lord Grantham will die.

That is why the hospital plot line exists, and you read it here first.

We undoubtedly are going to have to wait several more weeks before this situation resolves itself because Downton Abbey moves with the stately pace of plow horse, to give us plenty of time to stare at the dresses and the food and at Lady Mary's eyebrows, which, by the way, have their own Twitter account.

Don't believe it? Here. Enjoy. And try not to feel too demoralized when you realize that Lady Mary's clothes are better than your clothes, Lady Mary's bedroom is more beautiful than your bedroom, and Lady Mary's eyebrows are better tweeters than you are.

You should have been born a Crawley. (Just not Edith.)

1 comment:

  1. I just finished watching episode 4 and you are brilliant! Of course Lord Grantham will need the hospital. You are correct. This season is so bittersweet for me knowing it is the last. What on earth will I have to look forward to next tax season?