Tuesday, September 1, 2015

I Love the Rumble

Panda sticker added to protect the innocent
Most of the Boys were home for the weekend, and except that they are exponentially bigger and I'm now the first one to go to bed, it was much like having three pre-teens in the house again. I had to remember to cook meals, for one thing. (Who does that? Did I cook real meals for TWENTY YEARS? WHY?)

But it also meant every sentence, phrase, word, and unspoken sigh was subject to interpretation and possible argumentation. Take, for example, the note I found taped to my laptop when I got up Sunday morning. I will transcribe it for persons who are reading this on mobile devices:
"A glass of water was partially dropped on this last night," it begins. "It got wet but I don't think water ran into the inside. You may want to be careful when first using it, though. Sorry--"
I peeked under the lid of my laptop, found exactly one drop of water and wiped that off, then started it with no incident. Incident ended, right?

Well, no.

First there had to be the discussion of who had left the half-full glass of water on the side table overnight. Three 'fessed up to that.

"But where else was I supposed to put my glass? It was on a coaster."

Then Two got into the specifics of the note's phrasing.

"What is this? 'A glass of water was partially dropped?' What are we, some kind of no-fault society where the water DROPS ITSELF onto the laptop? Have you ever heard of personal pronouns? Personal responsibility?"

So Four had to go on the defensive.

"Well, I was just reaching over to turn off the light, which was being a responsible citizen of the earth, and maybe there shouldn't have been a laptop on the floor anyway."

And voila! My fault! Just as it was when the mashed potatoes were touching the green beans on their plates, thereby ruining their lives.

I sighed happily. They're exponentially bigger but they're still my Boys, and this I can handle.

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