Because I am. I'm the worst.
On Monday, which is now three days ago, I promised that if you came back on Tuesday, which is now two days ago, I would have something SPECIAL for you. EXTRA SPECIAL, in fact. And then I disappeared into work in the day and meetings at night and life in general and didn't return.
But today, I'm finally back and I have (drumroll, please) a GIVEAWAY!
I know! Just like Oprah!
At the beginning of 2014 when I began the year of destuffifying, I promised that anyone who joined me in this well-intentioned effort would get something out of it in the end, even if she/he didn't meet the actual goal he/she set. Today is the pay-off for those good intentions.
If you destuffified in 2014, as I did, you get prize. And that's even if you did not meet your set goal, as I did not. Did you get something out of your living space that makes you feel a little freer and a little proud of yourself that one tiny spot of your life is de-stuffed? You get a prize.
And for one person who de-stuffified, your prize will be the Grand PooBah of DeStuffifying Prizes. You will pick something out of my already-knitted projects (see above), or choose something for me to knit, and I will send that something to you. It could be something large, such as this shawl being modeled by my office chair:
|"In soft ombre shades of peach and green, this shawl is shot with subtle glitters of gold, the perfect accompaniment to a simple black dress on a cool fall evening." (My description. Please read it in a sultry voice.)|
Or it could be something smaller, such as a hat (seen above), a pair of socks (also seen above), or some warm reading mitts (seen above). I will also negotiate requests for the custom-made Grand PooBah prize, so you could choose something extra-special:
A five-hour baby sweater! Or a baby hat, or something else baby-appropriate.
Or reading mitts in a custom color! Or owl mittens!
Or a dog! (Skeptical Boy#1 not included.)
Just comment on this post, or on my Facebook page, that you destuffified in 2014, and let me know how it went. That enters you for the drawing to receive the Grand PooBah of DeStuffifying Prize. I will write all your names on Post-It notes and stick them to the wall and the first one that falls down wins. Or maybe I'll ask Husband to draw the name out of a hat, or something. It will be a random Grand PooBah selection, is what I'm saying, so your success or non-success in destuffifying is not critical to this prize distribution.
And even if you are not the Grand PooBah Prize winner, I'll send you a consolation prize because you are well-intentioned, just as I am.
It's just like Oprah! You get a prize! And you get a prize! And you get a prize! Okay, it's a knitted dishcloth. There. A dishcloth you probably don't even need, and you'll have to send me your home address at email@example.com to claim. But still! A prize!
Yeah, the worst Oprah ever. I really am the rollout of healthcare.gov.