Thursday, January 8, 2015

It Arrived House-Trained

I'm assuming all of you have seen the video that leads off today's post. I first encountered it years and years ago--it must have been shortly after it hit the internet eight years ago, way before it had three and a half million hits. It is charming and amusing, and I thought of it often during the Christmas season: I was a knitting fool on the run-up to the gift-giving season.

While I didn't go so far as to knit my own hair into a scarf, I did manage to overcommit to a rather impressive number of projects that were due under the tree.

  • Six pairs of handwarming fingerless mitts (with microwavable rice bag inserts) for the staff who work in my chilly office.
  • A warm hat for the student who is paired with me in a campus mentorship program and always looks frozen when we meet for lunch.
  • Cotton dishcloths for a dear relative.
  • Socks for my women's group white elephant exchange. (Paired with temporary tattoos, because we're wild and crazy in this group.)
  • Christmas stockings for Lovely Girl (to be kept in the House on the Corner) and the grand-dog of my hairdresser. 
  • A dog. 

You did not mis-read that final item. Boy#1 and Lovely Girl have been making noises about getting a dog and when the Royals were making October's baseball play-offs especially thrilling for us fans in the Kansas City area, One may have accidentally told his bride that if the hometown team won he'd get her a puppy. In my comeback-induced hysteria, I may have accidentally butt-texted "Heck, if the Royals win, I will get her a puppy."

Well. The Royals won.

Knowing that One and Girl are living in an apartment and doing a fair amount of work-related travel, I knew I probably shouldn't show up at their doorstep with a Shih Tsu in a basket. Plus, getting someone else a puppy is like getting someone else underwear--you'd better know them really, really, really well.

But I fretted about breaking my promise until I saw this during our dream vacation:

The universe smiled, and after fifty-seven excruciatingly small pieces were knit and sewn together, I was able snap this picture of One when presents were opened.

It's the kind of gift they'll talk about decades from now. "Remember the year Mom knit a dachsund for us? That was kind of...weird, wasn't it?"

So I will remind them in advance that they should be thanking me that it wasn't actually a Shih Tsu in a basket. At least it doesn't poop in their shoes.

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