Monday, September 9, 2013

Two Questions

It's my favorite time of the year again! Woooo!

We have successfully navigated the months of sweat and mosquitoes, and can now expect crisp days and cool nights. Never mind that Kansas is setting records for heat--it's SEPTEMBER and this cannot go on forever. Can it?

Anyway, perhaps my favorite activity in the world is watching professional football on Sunday afternoons, through my eyelids. I sit down to see how badly the Chiefs will get beaten, and before I know it the thud of colliding beef has lulled me into a nap and three hours later I wake up and say "Hey! How badly did the Chiefs get beaten?"

Yesterday, wonder of wonders, the Chiefs did not get beaten at all. In fact, they DOMINATED. That was the actual word used by the color commentator, who (little known fact) had the mumps at my parents' house when he was four years old and I was eight because his family and my family were friends and his parents had an out-of-town family emergency so he and his brother were staying with us. True story.

Anyway (again), in the four minutes that I watched the game before I fell asleep I saw the Chiefs quarterback get tackled by an opposing player. It was a sack, but only in the loosest sense of the word because I think the net yardage loss was something like two yards, and at that point Kansas City was leading Jacksonville by....well, I don't remember how many points, but it was a lot. (And this is why I don't write sports--I don't care enough to look it up.)

At that point, after he made the tackle, the opposing player (a Jaguar--I did look that up) struck a pose that looked exactly like the Ad Astra sculpture on top of the Kansas capitol dome in Topeka. Well, he had on more clothes, and did not actually have a bow and arrow in his hands, but the pose was this:

So I have two questions: 

1. Do football players practice these poses in the mirror, just in case they're losing by many, many, many points and want to show how completely manly they are when they sack a quarterback for a two-yard loss? And if so, 

2. Wouldn't it be more effective if they were dressed exactly like the Ad Astra sculpture? 

Just sayin'.

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