No Beige Here

Lovely Girl and I with our dueling hat brims

How many times did I hear it in the weeks after Boy#1 and Lovely Girl announced their engagement last Thanksgiving? Five times? Fifteen? Fifty?

"You know what the groom's mother has to do? Just wear beige and shut up."

Oh, people. You lovely, well-meaning people. Do you not know me at all? The odds of me shutting up are miniscule, and beige washes me out.

So when the invitation to Lovely Girl's shower specified that the guests should wear their favorite hats, I picked the brightest, broadest-brimmed one I could find, pinned on my "Mother of the Groom" badge, and set sail. And then I could not shut up. This shower was for friends in Lovely Girl's hometown and I introduced myself over and over.

"Hi--how do you know LG? From church, that's so nice. Me? Oh, my son's marrying her. Yes, we could not be happier. I know! Doesn't she look adorable?"

I hugged women whose hats were even bigger than mine, and laughed as we grabbed our headgear to keep it from falling off. I found out that as a child Lovely Girl was the instigator of countless church nursery hijinks, and the dimples and angelic face were, at that point of her life, beautiful deceptions. Over and over I looked at my two sisters, who shared this day just as they've shared the other most wonderful days of my life, and we grinned at each other in sheer delight.

All the pictures from the day, in fact, show me with a grin on my face that's practically manic in its intensity. It was just so much fun to be this close to the center of the universe without having any responsibility for keeping the planets in orbit.

Mothers of the groom? Your mileage may vary, but if my experience is any indicator, I would update that old advice. If your son is getting married, wear whatever you want, and have fun.

So far, that's working for me.