Thursday, July 18, 2013

Eating and Getting Married

When Boy#1 and Lovely Girl announced their engagement last Thanksgiving, the first thing I did (well, the first thing I did after squealing uncontrollably) was calculate how long it was until the wedding. I had almost a year before the happy moment, and I decided I wanted to lose at least 10 pounds before that date. 

Oh, who am I trying to kid? I decided I wanted to lose a LOT more than 10 pounds, but I know myself and I know the emotional commitment needed to lose any weight at all, so I decided 10 pounds was a reasonable figure to make my figure more reasonable. 

I had not calculated ion the Summer of Eating Generously. 

Holy cow, but the past few months have been a gobblefest of unprecedented magnitude. There was the week in Mexico, when I had chicken mole for lunch. (Husband wants me to clarify that this was not chicken cooked with underground rodents. Chicken mole is chicken cooked in a scrumptious blend of spices and chocolate, which may sound gross but is actually oh, so tasty.) There have been Boys (and a Lovely Girl) around all summer and while they are more fun than a barrel of monkeys, I'm far less likely to say "Oh, let's just have cereal for supper" if actual people are in the house. There was even the weekend spent helping Boy#3 make his house habitable, because if you're working as hard as we were you feel absolutely justified in going out for Mexican food three meals in a row, and could you bring me extra chips and salsa, please? 

So what I'm saying is that I was not exactly making progress toward my 10-pound goal, but I still had several months to go. And then came last Saturday. That was the day when we joined our engaged couple and her parents for a catering tasting at the wedding venue and my weight-loss plan completely derailed. 

Oh, my. That was a heaping helping of deliciousness. If I counted right, I believe I had seven proteins (salmon, two chickens, two porks, two beefs including ribeye and prime rib), two vegetables (asparagus, green beans), two salads (Ceasar, Mediterranean), and seven (count 'em, seven) cakes. I passed on the macaroni and cheese, because seriously? Macaroni and cheese? For a WEDDING? And this doesn't even count the appetizer room, where I felt myself getting green around the gills as I contemplated the sliders, mini-Bratwursts, build-your-own tacos, and deviled eggs. Oh, and some kind of cucumber thingies filled with strawberry jam that were entirely too healthy to contemplate.

I waddled away from the tables feeling like one of those force-fed foie gras geese, except that the goose probably would have less trouble deciding which of the delicacies it preferred to serve guests on the big day. There was only one food I definitely did not like, and I won't say what it was, but it rhymes with Smarsley and Myme Scented Pinoa. I prefer my Pinoa unscented, thank you.

I'm just glad we stopped by the tuxedo place before the tasting. Otherwise I'm pretty sure One would have been trying on the next larger size.

But me? I'm still determined to make progress toward my 10-pound goal. Or at least find a beige dress that features a discreetly-hidden elastic waistband.

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