Really, Young Man? Really?

I hate that I left you hanging on my last post, causing you to ignore Frankenstorm as you worried whether or not I had reached my reunion. I did (Pearl's malady was a $300 cough, but that's a lot better than vehicular pneumonia), and it was so. much. fun. that I can hardly stand it. You will hear much, much more about that eventually, but first I have to relate the issue that happened on the way home from our girls' weekend. (At our age it's more of a creak-and-croak weekend, but we FELT like girls.)

Anyway, to set the background for this post, I am a compulsively law-abiding driver. I mean, to the extreme. Is the speed limit 30? I'm driving 30. Is this a no-passing zone? I am following that tractor driver at negative mph until he turns off into his field. Am I turning? My blinkers are blinking, even if there's no one within miles to see them.

That's why I BRAGGED to my friend when we passed the trooper early Sunday afternoon. He looked about 18, and I was sure he was admiring how well some old people (me) drive.

"Ha ha," I said proudly. "I was doing exactly the speed limit. He's not making his quota on me."

C. is one of my oldest and dearest friends so we kept talking and laughing as I glanced in the rear-view mirror and noticed the trooper had made a U-turn. Still, I wasn't concerned.

"Well, he must have gotten a call from the next county," I told C.

And then he turned on his lights.

I have given multiple people three guesses as to why this whippersnapper trooper ticketed me. Not one has come within spittin' distance of guessing my infraction. It was not speeding, or passing in a no passing zone, or excessive laughter coming from old ladies.

Go ahead. Guess. I'll wait.

Give up?

I received a ticket, a legal summons that will cost me money, for having TINTED WINDOWS.

"Uh, sir," I told the impertinent young pup, "we bought this car, used, 18 months ago, and it's a 10-year-old car, and no one has EVER mentioned that the window tint was too dark. Could you give me a warning?"

Nope. This earnest young man will now be able to brag to all his law-enforcement buddies that he ticketed an old lady for driving a PIMPMOBILE.

Seriously?

We managed to restrain ourselves from beatboxing as he wrote it out.

Harrumph.