The Top 10 Signs Boys Are Home

1. Apple Dapples cereal. Really, Boys? I send you to the store for a few staples and you come back with APPLE DAPPLES?

2. My recliner, usually empty when I’m not in the room, is filled with Boy.

3. All ESPN, all the time, baby.

4. Reminder to self: Check the toilet seat.

5. “Hey, would you mind watering the tomatoes? I’m running late. Thanks!”

6. A loss in the 15th inning is cause for deep consternation, and the final inning is watched by 200% more people than would have watched it a week ago. (Is that correct? I never can figure out what percentage 3 is of 1.)

7. Dishwasher usage accelerates from its empty nest once-every-two-days to a more vigorous twice-every-one-day.

8. Milk consumption accelerates from one gallon per week to one gallon per day. No, I am not kidding.

9. Music! Trombones! Piano! Back in the house! Yay!

10. But seriously, Apple Dapples?