Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I Hope You're Happy (Feet)

Well, thanks a lot, Fashion Council.

Last winter, when I asked if it was okay if I continued to wear pantyhose although the hip young chicks have given them up, you answered with a resounding NOOOO!!!!! except that I think you used more exclamation points. I might ONLY wear tights, and ONLY if my legs were really cold, you said.

I paid attention, and today as I walked to the car even new Birkenstocks (yes, I'm 114 years old) couldn't make up for the blinding whiteness of the feet I saw sticking out from under my skirt when I glanced down. This picture doesn't do them justice: Those little piggies could be used as illumination on a cave exploration.

But because I trust you, here I am in my un-nyloned glory. The imperfect pedicure, the wonky ankle veins, the uneven skin tone. All on display because you, my Fashion Council, said pantyhose were démodé.

You'd better not be making this stuff up.


  1. I wore nylons to my brother's wedding a few years ago, and I am pretty sure I was the absolutely only person there wearing them. It's odd to me because I can't figure out...WHY. Meanwhile people are so certain: "OMG NO!! No nylons ICK!!"---the way I guess I'd react to denim purses or something. But this one I don't see, and that makes me feel like I've really shifted generations.

  2. I promise that my legs are so white you can almost see through them! However, my sister, who as you know is very fashionable assures me that white legs are better than nylons!

  3. I'm just going to point out that the Duchess of Cambridge is wearing panty hose. And so am I, when I actually wear a dress.

  4. Um, I wear Birkenstocks to work almost every single day and I'm only 30. It's what I call "granola chic" and I promise that someday soon it will be a real thing.