A Recipe for Fall

Start with the most beautiful late August morning created. Add a husband who had planned to go to the office, and generous friends with apple trees so loaded the branch tips are touching the ground.

Shuffle through the dewy grass and fill buckets with the apples. Then ride around with the windows down and look at dream houses. Smile regally, but graciously, when Husband admits that this was a better way to spend a Saturday morning than catching up on bookwork.

Arrange the four buckets of apples on the deck and try (unsuccessfully) to get the dog to pose with them. Hi, Pepper! Want to sit? No? Okay.

Cut up the apples and put them in the biggest soup pot you have. Add three small jam jars of water (because that's the only measuring device handy). I add this detail because every year when I make applesauce I cannot remember how much water to add. Unless the internet goes missing, I now have it in writing.

Cover. Bring to a boil. Go read a book for a while. Scrub the floor. Turn off the heat.

Remember you don't have any of your Super Special Ingredient. Dash to Wal-Mart and discover they have no Super Special Ingredient for sale. Don't panic. Check the two grocery stores in town, neither of which has Super Special Ingredient. Begin to panic, but then check Dollar General, and WOOT! Twelve bags of Super Special Ingredient. Buy them all.
This seems like a lot, but it's okay. Super Special Ingredient won't hurt you because it's a FAT FREE FOOD.







Now that your cooked apples have cooled, get out the Foley mill. This is a handy gizmo that turns cooked apples into applesauce and leaves behind a tiny little handful of seeds and trash for the composter. (Do not Google "Did the same person invent the Foley mill and the Foley catheter?" You will not find out.)

 Add one package of Super Special Ingredient and one-half cup sugar. This will turn the applesauce from its, let's face it, unappealing pea-green natural color to a beautiful, rosy pink.

Now. Put your face right next to the pot of applesauce and inhale the warm cinnamon apple steam.You'll see I'm right.

You've just made fall.