The Hardest One

This is the hardest one.

It isn't just because he's the youngest, and today we'll be driving toward an empty house where now we'll be the last ones awake at night.

It's because he's always been the shy one, and this first week will be so very far out of his comfort zone. It's because he's always been the one who preferred that his waking hours be the wee hours and now has 8 a.m. classes. It's because now when he says "Fine" I won't be able to see his face and know if he's really fine.

But then I remember that the hardest one was in 2004, the first one, when I didn't know what to expect and worried about every. single. thing. Then the hardest one was in 2006, when Boy#2 was so very, very far away. Followed by the hardest one in 2008, my sensitive child.

This is the hardest one. But only for today.