Life Goes On

When my mother died in December, suddenly and shockingly, my boss spoke to me after the funeral.

"Don't try to come back to work too soon," he said. "People will expect you to actually work."

The life transition Husband and I are going through now is nothing like losing Mom. Her death was an unexpected blow; this transition has been anticipated and planned for two decades. When it comes to my job, though, it's hard not to compare the aftermath.

This week is a milestone in my life, but in the lives of everyone else it's just the start of another academic year with its normal frantic pace. Everyone needs the brochures and invitations and press releases they've been promised, and they need them now.

I find myself having the same conversations in my mind I had in January.

"But I'm tired! Don't you see that, even though everything has gone well, this has been hard? I need a break," my brain shrieks as I open another e-mail that wonders why that poster isn't done yet. The deadline for the next major publication looms and the writing isn't even within imagination of being done.

It's such a momentous stage in my life that I find myself surprised that life has gone on in its old routines, but the routines, and the deadlines, continue with the precision of a Bach prelude.

If only I could get back into the rhythm.