Friday, November 9, 2012

Blurbs and Orts

It's time for another edition of Blurbs and Orts, in which I clean up all the little half-formed blog ideas that will never make it to full post status but which collect in the wrinkles of my cerebellum like dust bunnies until I sweep them out. (Wow. I believe that may be the most convoluted metaphor I have ever devised.)

Ort #1: Is this a gorgeous leaf or what? I picked it up off the sidewalk and brought it in to work this week, and have spent hours looking at it rather than writing a story about healthcare administration. I mean, which of those options would you choose?

Ort#2: Thank you for the kind thoughts and offers, but you may now throw away those file-baked-in-a-cake recipes. I am no longer in violation of the law of these United States, and the judge has dismissed my citation for Pearl's tinted windows. When I phoned to let the magistrate know that the unknowingly-too-dark tint had been removed, he asked me how did I plead and I said "PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!" When he finished laughing he asked me about the MOMQBEE license plate, and I pointed out that as a 57-year-old empty nester I was a little too proud of having been cited for driving a pimpmobile. He laughed again. This is the kind of justice I like. Also, I've removed the following from my exercise playlist. I was memorizing it just in case the person deciding my case turned out to not have a sense of humor.

Ort#3: We all agree that Pinterest is evil, no? That this time-sucking social medium fools you into thinking you can DO things that quite obviously you cannot, and should not, do? Things like using power tools and making fancy cupcakes? Well, I've finally found one thing on Pinterest that is the BOMB. I've tried a lot of ways to keep the shower clean during the past three decades, when I estimate our shower has been used about sixty-four gabizillion times. Pinterest advised that I get one of those soap-holding dish wands, fill it with half white vinegar and half regular strength dishwashing detergent, and wipe down the tub surfaces each time I turn on the shower water. People, this works! My tile is shiny and the shower room smells like apple cider. Happiness!
Ort#4: This morning Boy#3 sent an early text to find out if we wanted the audio AND video recording of his trombone recital or just the audio. This will be his last collegiate performance, so I wanted the best commemoration possible. "Go ahead and get the video as well, please," I texted back. "I'd like to be able to play it on a loop when I'm in the nursing home. It'll drive my roommate crazy." To which he replied, "Sounds good. And that won't be the only thing that will drive them crazy, I'm sure."  Pfffft.

Finally, a Blurb: Husband and I saw Argo last week. We laughed! We gasped! We were on the edge of our seats!

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