Looking Through...Well, You Know

Image borrowed from wealthgathering.com

I've hit "publish" on my last few posts with much cringing and covering of eyes.

"Who is this woman?" I imagined my reader(s) shouting. "Why does she pretend to be the EXPERT on raising teenagers? How dare she clutter up the internet with 'You'll get through it,' because this STINKS."

Oh, reader(s). I totally get it, and if I were in your shoes I'd be smacking my cyber-self in the back of the head. I have not forgotten the traumatic moments. "I just feel like all we do is fight," one reader (who, if I'd had to pick the perfect mother, would have been wearing a winner's sash) e-mailed me.

I do remember those days when every.single.word was a landmine. Is this the one that's going to blow up in my face and provoke a day of sulking, even though I was KIDDING? And a year ago he would have laughed? Is this the battle the mythical they were talking about when they said to pick my battles? Or am I just being over-protective/over-demanding/over-parentish?

Am I ruining this child?

Is he ruining me?

As you go through this stage, though, don't forget that there are some really nice things that are true about the teenaged years. I hereby present the list of the Top 10 Things About Having Teenagers as Opposed to Having Whatever You Had Before You Had Teenagers.

1. They can take their own baths.

2. When they vomit, they can reliably hit the bucket.

3. If you need an onion while you're making supper, yay! Someone else in the house has a driver's license.

4. You probably have more or less settled into the activities he likes, so you don't have to attend all those baseball games where you will live with stomach-clenching fear that the ball is going to be hit into left field. (Substitute debate, or dance, or scholar's bowl, or whatever activity he tried as a kid and was really terrible at.)

5. You never have to watch "Barney" again in your life. Ever.

6. On car trips to Grandma's house, even sullen silence is better than a toddler screaming for four hours because he just chewed through his pacifier and you are NOT buying any more pacifiers.

7. No more finding the farthest corner of the WalMart parking lot for an on-the-road emergency feeding! Wooooo! Bonus: You still remember where every single box store parking lot is between here and Grandma's house.

8. When you ask "Where does it hurt?" he can tell you, and you are still the one he wants around when he does hurt.

9. If the house is too quiet, there's no sudden panic that you didn't get that permanent marker put back in the cupboard above the refrigerator. 

10. They get your jokes. They may not appreciate your jokes, nay, they may RIDICULE your jokes, and ROLL THEIR EYES, but they get them.

Oh, yes, life as the parent of a teenager is just grand.

Hang in there.