Thursday, November 17, 2011

A Question for My Fashion Council

When my Free Space group gets together on Wednesday nights, we don't bother discussing the unimportant things of life. We rarely delve into politics, we don't spend much time on favorite sports teams, we ignore new-release movies and books.

No, we spend our mental energy on deeper subjects. GraceMiracles. Pantyhose.

I am enduring a fashion crisis. As I've mentioned here before, because I am a humanitarian I do not leave the house in pants. (The horror! The horror!) Up until the past few years that has meant I also was a year-round wearer of pantyhose. And because I remembered the years before pantyhose were invented (oh, yes, I do) these all-in-one stockings have always seemed relatively convenient and even comfortable in a way that minimizes jiggle. (I also remember panty girdles. Shudder.)

Now that pantyhose are completely and utterly out of fashion (facing extinction, if this Slate article is correct), I am in a quandary.

What do I do with the 12 inches of exposed skin between the hem of my skirt and the top of my shoes? My odometer has spun past middle-aged, and while those exposed legs are useful they are not beautiful.

In the summer it's not a problem. I really like long, swirly skirts that distract from the blue veins on my ankles and feet, and if I'm sitting, I tuck those ankles and feet modestly under the skirt. In the winter, though, I not only have the blue veins showing even more prominently because there's not even a hint of tan on those ankles and feet, my legs quite frankly are cold.

Last night when my group met to discuss grace and faith and I brought up my pantyhose crisis, these founts of wisdom were NO HELP AT ALL. Several of them don't wear skirts, ever. The rest  have come to terms with their middle-aged legs and flaunt them proudly.

Oh, I hear you screaming "TIGHTS!" at the tops of your lungs, and I'm right there with you when I'm wearing my trusty Danskos, but while tights put the casual in business casual, they're not quite the ticket for trustee meetings or funerals. I've become one of the throwback pantyhose wearers who, as the Slate article pointed out, "aren't dying out at a fast enough rate."

What's your advice, fashionable ones? If Kate Middleton can't turn the non-pantyhose tide, what hope do I have?

1 comment:

  1. My oldest daughter is a fashionista. She advises that I am still allowed to wear hosiery on these conditions:

    They must be SHEER.
    They may not be worn with open toe shoes.

    Would you like her contact information? She will tell you what she thinks.
    I'm not sure why she is so candid.