Best Present Ever

A few years ago I Santa was looking for Christmas stocking stuffers for the boys when an Amazon e-mail alerted me to a super sale item. It was this adorable stuffed monkey, with its equally adorable little blindfold. (Why? Is he about to be executed? Or playing Blind Man's Buff? We will never know, because he isn't talking.)

It was only a couple of dollars, so even though my youngest Boy was an oldish teenager, I added it to my order. A few minutes later I remembered that I have four children, so I looked for additional stuffed animals that would even out the gift-giving jollity. I found a pig, a frog, and a cow. None of these, unfortunately, was on sale, so my $2 impulse buy turned out to cost about $40, plus shipping, but I Santa had something to put in the stockings for Christmas morning.

As it turns out, Santa is a genius.

You see, these little stuffed toys are not just stuffed toys, they are WEAPONS. Grab the feet and head, stretch, and aim it toward a target and the blindfolded monkey becomes a slingshot projectile that not only lands with a satisfying whoomp, but also has some sort of gizmo inside that makes a truly startling shriek upon impact.

Could there be a more perfect boy toy?

As soon as they opened the stockings the Boys knew they had something special, and that I Santa had made a dreadful mistake. The rest of that day was spent dodging flying animals, and hoping none hit the full cup of coffee I was carrying because if that happened those animals were TOAST.

Life has taken a toll on the slingshot animals. The monkey is missing a paw (cleverly hidden in the picture) and the chicken? Well, let's just say it's now fully equipped for running around aimlessly.

But those defects have not lessened the thrill of seeing a sleepy brother come around the corner, and THROWING the slingshot animal at him to activate one horrifying scream from the animal and another from the brother.

Yesterday I got another Amazon alert: Special price on slingshot flying pig with oink sound! Maybe I should replace...

Naw.