Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Back at Work: An Accounting

There are certain days that employees really shouldn't be paid for their attendance at their job. Those are the days immediately after long breaks, when "being at work" doesn't necessary equal "working." (The day immediately before a long break is the same not-equal-to equation, but we won't talk about that today.)

If I were to account for all the minutes I've spent at the office so far today, it would look something like this:

15 minutes: Re-plugging in all the computer equipment I had unplugged last year (that makes the break sound like so much more than a week, doesn't it?) as a hedge against lightning hitting the administration building.

5 minutes: Thinking of euphemisms for curse words after hitting head, multiple times, on the desk as I crawled around looking for the proper connections to make the gosh-darned computer work again. Also, shoot and diddly-dang.

25 minutes: Comparing breaks with co-workers. Woo-hoo! We didn't experience the pink-eye that infested the designer's family. Boo-hoo! No new car in the parking lot, unlike the registrar's assistant.

20 minutes: Taking Pearl to the dealer for a minor interior repair. What the heck, I wasn't doing anything useful.

12 minutes: Figuring out (again) how to re-record the message on my phone to reflect my re-establishment of office hours. For future reference, the button-pushing sequence is 100, password, 3, 2, 2, 1, pound key. You're welcome.

28 minutes: Realizing my e-mail inbox is almost full, in spite of my careful monitoring of its contents over break. Turns out that all those panicked last-minute e-mails about the ads that needed to be done before break add up to a heapin' helpin' of kilobytes.

And here we are, at mid-morning. Whooo-eee. I'm worn out just writing all these activities down.

I think I need a break.

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