Big Decisions

Husband and I were heavily involved in the Boys' undergraduate college choices. Almost as soon as they entered high school we began dragging them to sophomore get-acquainteds, and junior explore days, and senior this-is-serious-now visits, and we used pretty much every method up to a cattle prod to get them to their final decisions.We weren't going to tell them where they had to go to school, but we wanted to make sure they had all the information they needed to pick a place that was a good fit for them.

As it turned out, three of the four Boys ended up making extremely difficult choices between excellent and contrasting schools, and also ended up not deciding until the absolute last possible moment. We watched them becoming progressively more desperate-looking as well-meaning friends and family made small talk with them. An innocent "So, where you going to college next year?" practically made their eyes spin around in their heads.

The exception to this dramatic process was Boy#2. He knew where he was going to college the minute he stepped onto campus. It was one of those charmed school visits where the answer to every question is the answer you're hoping to hear, and the sky is blue, and flowers are blooming, and little birds fly out of the trees to sing duets with you. (And the bear pit with LIVE BEARS in the middle of campus didn't hurt, either.) Two couldn't understand why it was so hard for his brothers to decide where they wanted to go to college.

This spring, after a much-more grueling graduate school decision, he gets it. He's good at what he does, and what he does is in demand, so he's been the delighted recipient of the head-turning courting usually reserved for athletes. His visits to large, public universities, and smaller, private (but no less prestigious) universities were almost unanimously positive.

Husband and I have tried to stay out of the process, but considering that the location of his university will probably determine at least one vacation destination in our future, we had opinions when he asked for them. (I know! Who would have thought?) The decision was Two's, though, and it was a tough one. As of last Friday, the deadline for accepting or declining the fellowship offers, we still hadn't heard where our second son would be studying next fall. Husband even texted Two to see if the decision had been made.

Finally, the phone rang.

"I got your texts, but I was with people, and you've taught me how rude it is to answer a text when I can't talk," he said.

Hrmph.

But when we considered it, he's right about the texting etiquette, of course, and made the right decision to not be rude. And of course, being right about small decisions is training for making big decisions as well.

So good luck, Duke. We think Two made a great decision.