Documenting My Food

There are some people who come home from a trip halfway across the country with pictures of the places they've been and the loved ones they've seen. Pffft, I say to those people. Those places will be there the next time you visit and those loved ones you should be able to remember without photographic documentation.

It's the food that counts, travelers. What did you eat that made you swoonishly happy? What did you eat that made you gag? Do you have photographic proof of the difference between the two?

I do. And I know you've been waiting breathlessly for the moment I trotted out this proof. So, without further delay, here is what I ate while I was away.

1. Eggs Benedict. Every single day of my life I have a healthy breakfast, which includes steel-cut oats cooked with an apple and a teaspoon of cinnamon, and a four-shot cappuccino with low-fat milk. Each   of the ingredients is calculated to keep me healthy way past when I am laid in the grave (except for the four-shot cappuccino, which will just keep me awake through all of eternity). The morning after we arrived at the seminar, though, K and I found ourselves in the restaurant of the fancy hotel where we were staying. Our room for the previous night had been comped due to room overbooking, and the refund of money I had already "spent" was burning a hole in the expense account to which it had been returned so K and I splurged three extra dollars and got Eggs Benedict rather than the buffet. I even ordered the deluxe version, with the layer of tomato preserves tucked between the English muffin and the ham slice. I've never been a fan of runny eggs but, oh my, was this delicious. Between the sweet of the tomato preserves and the salty of the ham slice and the savory of the Hollandaise I didn't even notice that yolks were running all over the place and threatening to KILL ME with their uncookedness. Grade of A for this meal.

2. Lunch at Bobby's Burger Palace. Bobby Flay did not fix our hamburgers, much to our disappointment. The sweet potato fries were delicious, and I regret that we forgot the leftovers in the window well of our hotel room. I had the Napa Valley Burger, I think, but I don't remember exactly because this was the rarest slab of protein I had ever put in my mouth and I was trying not to think that this "medium" burger was dripping "medium" blood all over my plate. It was delicious, but I believe I heard it moo, which is a bit of a downer. But on the upside (sweet potato fries!), this is the first burger joint I've ever seen that served Fresca. Grade of B.

3. Dinner at Kramerbooks & Afterwords Cafe. I don't travel a lot, but when I do I try to avoid eating at places also found in Small Town (no combination cafe/bookstores here), and I try menu selections I wouldn't normally choose. And that, boys and girls, is how I found myself eating curried goat. It wasn't baaaaaaah-d, but I probably wouldn't order it again--it was more fatty than I had expected, and had enough tiny bones to work around that at one point I remarked this goat must have gone through a woodchipper. Oddly, my dining companions were squicked out by this description and completely ignored the fact that I was eating meat that had once been somebody's kid. Grade of C.

4. These offerings from Wisteria Gardens, sadly, I did not eat because it is not food, it is contraband. Boy#1 and Lovely Girl took me for a roam around the Eastern Market, which is only a hop and skip down the street from their apartment, and I loved the place. The moment I sampled this strawberry balsamic jam I knew it was what I wanted to take back to Husband as a consolation prize for having missed the trip (and, I hope, me). What I didn't remember in my addled tourist state was that I was not checking bags and therefore the TSA would not allow me to take lovely jam and delicious jalapeno treat onto the plane. The only consolation was that One and LG will be able to enjoy its deliciosity. Grade of Incomplete for lack of data.

Lovely Girl, Boy#1, Boy#2, and Boy#4

5. And really, my kids deserve some deliciosity. Look at those faces! Food schmood--give me time with these folks and I will completely forget that there is a crab cake and pasta in front of Boy#1. Or I would except that he took a picture of it and sent it to me as I was getting the third shot of the goat curry.

Hmmmm. Maybe I need to just shut up and eat.