Truth in Advertising

A couple of weeks I got a phone call from a friend. She's a wonderful, wise woman who is in a women's group with me and she's also a Friend of the Library in Small Town. I don't mean she's a friend of the library (lower-cased) as I am, in that she loves the place and regularly takes advantage of its teeny-tiny late book fees to take a month to read an English mystery novel. I mean she's a Friend of the Library (upper-cased) and has an official card to prove that she has paid her dues to the library's fan club.

This fan club meets monthly and my friend was in charge of the program for February. I'm going by memory here, but here's how her call to me went:

"I loved the program Other Friend gave to our women's group, and I asked her to do something like it, but she's going to be out of town, so I asked Another Friend if she could do it but she teaches on Monday nights, so I was wondering if you could do it?"

Now wait--before you rush to the conclusion that I must have been highly incensed to have been chosen based on the stepping-down-the-rungs-of-the-ladder method of selection, rest assured that I could have not been more delighted. Being the first choice is a LOT of pressure. That means the inviter thinks you are the very best, the top notch-est, the cream the cat licks off its whiskers. Being the second choice means you are a heartbeat from that exalted state. But being third choice? That's being Alexander Haig and rushing in to the White House press room to say "I am in control here!" and people looking at each other and saying "Uh, no, you are not."

So it's absolutely no pressure at all, but is a lot of fun because the Friends of the Library are the bim-bam-bomb and many of them are also MY friends.

At least I thought it was no pressure until I saw the promotion for the meeting, which is being published in Small Town's newspaper, and in the Chamber of Commerce newsletter, and going out to all of the dear Friends.

"The program this month, 'Love and the Written Word,' will be presented by MomQueenBee, (what I do for a living) and author of the blog 'Empty Nest Feathers.' In honor of Valentine's Day she will be sharing aloud with us several of her written pieces on love and relationships, including a short story and a number of her poems."

Oops.

It reminded me of the picture of Young Bride, which I've published in this space before. The girl clutching her stephanotis-studded bouquet and gazing dreamily out the window? Well, she's technically me but not in a way you would recognize. There is no truth in advertising here. Add 30 years, ermphityjangle pounds, some wrinkles around the eyes and sensible shoes, and it starts to look like me.

The meeting notice, while technically me, needs to be slightly rewritten since it appears to be someone who knows something about love and the written word, and has written a short story, and has completed a poem that does not include the word Nantucket.

Friends of the Library, please come to the meeting Monday night. MomQueenBee will be reading the most wonderful story about love (which she did not write) and her favorite love poem (which she also did not write) and then she will sneak in a few of her sensibly-shod-and-wrinkly-but-all-her blog posts. Also, she does love your group, and the library so please welcome her with a smile and a hug. 

 There. Completely true.