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So, MomQueenBee, how was your Christmas? Your New Year's celebration? The transition into an entirely new decade?
Well, dear reader, I will give you this illustration that sums up it up tidily: When I weighed in after a full month of ignoring the bathroom scales, the Weight Watchers app asked me delicately "Are you SURE this is the weight you want to record?" Well, no, but that doesn't mean that the scale was inaccurate.
So the answer to the question asked in the first paragraph would be "Delicious!" And, if today's beauty shot of sparkling juice bottles is any indication, overindulgent.
I have no regrets, even if I winced when WW pointed out that I had apparently Eaten All The Things. That's because for the first time in multiple years, all of our best beloveds were together in the House on the Corner. Oh, we've been together fairly often during that time--we've had weddings and vacations and meet-ups in other locations, but having all four Boys and the two Lovely Girls under the same roof? It just doesn't happen in this era when their homes cover four states. When Lovely Girl #2 pointed out that she had never seen the Taj Majohn I was flabbergasted.
Since the Boys have been out on their own we've celebrated Christmas when we could all be together, not necessarily on Dec. 25. That meant the wild rumpus did not start until Dec. 28, but it continued a blissful week until everyone was back home on Jan. 3.
This means the celebration covered the birthday of Boy#3. He was born on Jan. 2, which is hands-down the worst day to have a birthday. On the day after New Year's Day everyone is over-partied and tired of celebration, itching to start the next diet and ready for a nap. And of course, the entire family is rarely around because businesses are usually back to regular hours on Jan. 2.
The last time we were together to celebrate Three's birthday, in fact, was 10 years ago--four hours after my mother's funeral. Yup, worst day ever to have a birthday.
But the best way to have a birthday is when all of your brothers are around. Look at this face:
This shot was snapped by Lovely Girl #2. We'd just eaten carrot cake with soft-serve ice cream, and as Three worked through his pile of presents he got to a long, slender box at the bottom of the pile. It was from Boy#2 and LG#2, and harkened back Two and Three watching this video together:
Well.
If you have an inordinate number of boys in your family, you will know that this moment was inevitable: A saber* and a grocery sack filled with bottles of sparkling cider and grape juice, plus an entire family shivering on the lawn at 11:45 p.m.
There was plenty of loud advice ("Swing through it like a golf swing!" "Get your fingers out of the way!" "Don't back off!") with a common muttered undertone ("This will never work.").
And how did it go? LG#2 made a gif of the results.
I'm pretty sure neighbors in a four-block radius heard our shrieks of delight and surprise. One smooth slash and the "cork" broke off cleanly and smoothly, shooting 30 feet into the street. No one was more delighted or surprised than Three. (Look at that face!)
Then, because boys, everyone had to try. It took only seven slashes (whacks?) to take the tops off of all six bottles, and whether that was because this is actually a fairly easy and reliable process or because there is a recessive Cossack gene somewhere in the family heritage, I don't know.
All I know is that I am claiming this as my metaphor for 2020. We're going into it with more than the customary New Year apprehension, and we don't really know what's in store for our world. We will shout encouragement and mutter apprehension, and then we will follow through the best we know how. Whatever happens, we will find surprise and delight because we are family.
It will be delicious.
*Full disclosure: This fearsome-looking weapon actually was made for this use, and has two dull edges. Crocodile Dundee would be unimpressed.
